Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"I have no idea, but I think..."

If you have no idea, then you think nothing. No idea is when there is NO IDEA. Do no say you have no idea about something, but then go on to list some of your speculations on the subject. "I have no idea" should be the last words to come from your mouth.

Abandon this idea idea. Say, "I don't know, but I think..." Because you don't know. But you do think.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Lack of Follow-Through in Films

In restaurants, mainly, or situations involving food.

You will see the characters walk into a restaurant, order food or a drink, then talk. The waiter will go to the table, place down the food and the drinks, and the customers continue talking to each other. When their conversation is over, they will leave the table, the restaurant, and their food.

This happens in Twin Peaks a lot with Maddy, Donna, and James. They will go into the diner, Maddy will order a cherry coke, James will get it for her, they will talk (about very important things in hardly hushed voices), and then leave. Why meet there? Why order the drink? Perhaps this is why it is so satisfying when Agent Cooper drinks his damn fine coffee and eats his damn fine donuts.

At least they pay for it. But do these people have an unlimited supply of cash that they can spend on uneaten food? Who are these people?

Eat your god damned food. Or give it to me. I want a donut.

Donut! That's another thing! I hate writing "donut"! I want to write "doughnut"! But this has become unacceptable. Screw it! It's a doughnut. I want a doughnut!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Resolutions

Oh no, not 1440x900, I love the display on my laptop, rather, the people that feel the need to blurt out a goal or direcion they want to head in for the next twelve months, one they really don't end up achieving at all.

Don't get me wrong, change can be good, and if people want to improve themselves by getting rid of certain idiosyncracies or bad characteristics, that's also good; it means i'll probably hate them a teensy tiny bit less. They probably feel better about themselves in the end too, like they've achieved something, actually done worthwhile. That's fantastic, good on them, give them a medal.

What does bother me are the resolutions made for the hell of it, by peer pressure or, ugh, declared in a state of being off-their-face pissed. It's a case of making goals because everyone else is, their friends and family, their Uncle Carlito (maybe?), and just because, well, society's kind of dictated and told us in capital letters than the opening days of January is when you announce that you want to change, even if you don't.

They don't of course, because people never change,m at least for the better. Within the next day they're already regretting their decision and shedding a tear or ten about how much the gym registration cost them. But they kid themselves are everyone else on that they'll succeed, somehow and long story short they don't, and by time the next January 1st rolls round it's a case of "I mean it this time" or "I am so fucking feeble, i'm a total loser" (maybe?). People don't commit, or they're scared of it, or they just can't be arsed in general but feel the need to announce a resolution all the same.

And yes, most unfortunately, i've made a New Year's Resolution myself, and yes, I probably won't ever achieve it:

Stop using awful puns in the opening of posts.