Cougars.

Listen, bitch, nobody wants to see your saggy tits pushed up into a bra 2 sizes too small. Nobody wants to see your ass cleavage. Nobody wants you.

Is there anything more embarrassing than a cougar? I don't know whether to feel sorry for them or to throw rocks at them. The people that I really feel sorry for are the children of cougars. These poor, misguided children. How awful for them. I mean, they constantly have to divert friends from their home out of fear that mommy will pounce on the nubile flesh of a young gentleman.

Cougars think they're cool. They think they're "one of the girls". They wear their daughter's Juicy Couture sweatpants. They shop at 5-7-9. They even speak in the young, hip vernacular.... mostly, to lure the young menz.

It's disgusting. It's sick.

I want to personally murder every. single. goddamn. cougar. that walks into Gap.