Diane Lane Movies

Inspired by the previews for her new movie with Richard Gere (who also gets a major HATE push) that played far too frequently during the commercials around the coverage for the Olympics.

Diane Lane is the epitome of bad romantic comedies.

First, let me state that I am a woman. Therefore, I do get a small, sick pleasure from romantic comedies. I allow myself one a year. (Sometimes I stretch to two, even three. Once you pop, etc.) Two years ago, or a year after whenever Must Love Dogs was released, I found it on TV. There we go, I thought. My romantic comedy of the year. I thought this even though I already hated Diane Lane. It's fun to laugh for the supposed wrong reasons, anyway. Besides! John Cusack! Yes, I do like him. If you don't, watch High Fidelity. If you still hate him, I hate you. And your mother.

Onwards.

Must Love Dogs. Ohhh dear, was it dire. I did not enjoy it in the slightest. My inner girl did not squee, as they say. It walked from the room with disgust, and the rest of me along with it. Mind, I'm sure this film would have been terrible without Diane Lane, but I'm sure it would have been more satisfying. Meg Ryan would have even been better, and we all (should) know how mind-bogglingly awful she is.

Diane Lane has this aura of.. euugh. "I'm just like you. I know how to live, I know how to cry." Her laugh, her watery smiles, her "I guess I'm just going to have to put up with this and make the best of it" look. It's somehow even worse than Meg Ryan's "I'm crying, where is the tissue box I'm going to comically go through" technique. Lane is a part of the giant self-righteous woman movement that I so despise (see future post). She's a woman, and by god, she's strong! She's lived life and she knows what goes on! She's been through much more than men have! Has a man ever given birth to a baby? No! And let me tell you!-

I just.. I just.. I just.. hate her. My god. I just.. Hate. Previews alone are enough to hurt my soul. Make her.. go away. Hate!