Parents Who Condescend to Their Children

I know parents who say not an encouraging word to their children. They always expect the worst. When the children's names are mentioned, the parents jump first to the worst conclusion. The parents ask for something, the children try to fulfill the request, the parent is disappointed and pulls a, "If you want something done, you have to do it yourself" attitude. An adult makes the same mistake, it is a natural mistake that any could have made. The parents look to their peers with a smile and their children with a frown and eye-roll.

You know, dear pessimistic parents, you receive what you expect. If you think of your children more pleasantly and with respect, maybe you will see something more than a child. Other people should not be more attentive to your children than you are.

(Note: Written in September, marked as a draft, forgotten, posted in December. Mystery of ghost blog entries: Solved. Request: Richard, finish your numbers entry!)

Inconsistent Facebook Statuses

Annoyance:
[Person's Name] is going to the mall and I am really not looking forward to it.
[Person's Name] is OMG CHRISTMAS!
[Person's Name] I want to go to the movies.

Do you see the problem?

Correction:
[Person's Name] is going to the mall and he is really not looking forward to it.
[Person's Name] is excited for Christmas OMGZ. !!
[Person's Name] wants to go to the movies.

You have to follow through. If you start out one way, that is the way you must finish. If you write a book in the third person, you don't change to the first person midway through a chapter! Unless you say, "[Character]'s thoughts went a little something like this: [Character's thoughts]", or something of the sort. Apply this rule to your facebook statuses, please! Sure, your statuses aren't as important as material in a book, but they do at least mean something - or else you wouldn't be writing them.

Something I should hate but don't:

...

Vista.

I'm sorry! I just.. haven't had any problems with it yet. Well, ok, a few problems, but I was able to get them to stop bothering me, for the most part. It's better than XP!

Sorry.. Maybe I'll hate it later.

Audience Members Who Try to Impress the Performer

You've seen them. You know them. Dear god, please tell me you're not one of them.

You know when you go to a comedy show.. The comedian is up there, doing a spiffing job, being funny, doing what he's paid for. Then some ass in the audience thinks it would be fun to yell out jokes of his own. This obnoxious audience member is secretly (or not so secretly) hoping that the comedian will be wildly impressed with his humor, and will offer to take him on the road to be a part of the comedy act. Meanwhile, the rest of the audience wants to kill Mr. Obnoxious Man, and the comedian .. well, the comedian probably wants to do so as well, but more violently.

I don't really have much more to say on the subject at the moment. But this: Do you like it when a drunk person tries to give you pointers when you're playing pool in a bar? When you're practicing the piano? When you're trying to finish a project for work or school? No, you don't. Your abilities are being inhibited by a selfish and intolerable know-it-all. And, guess what? If you are the obnoxious audience member I am speaking of, this is the situation you are creating for your hero up there on stage.

Be respectful. Please.
Thank you.

Autumn (or if you're silly, "Fall")

Autumn's the season of change, sandwiched neatly in between two different extremes. It's progression from one place to the next, and home to ten thousand pretty photo postcards featuring explosions of red orange, yellows and altogether scenes of loveliness. It can be beautiful, warm, artsy, splendid, and an all manner of other positive adjectives that can make you feel anywhere between happy and ecstatic.

Or not.

The postcards lied, because everything isn't peacefully orange at all. There's no warm breeze- there's a ****ing gale trying to not just blow the leaves down, but the actual tree. Things are cold, and wet, puddles can be the size of swamps, and raking leaves is a royal pain in the ass if they're wet and mushy. There's none of this smiling and having a good time while raking leaves, and leafblowers/suckers are one of the best inventions never fully realised: they fail to catch the leaves, but are overly keen on munching the gravel from the drive, how's the hell does that work? Even worse, none of these trees are even mine- if the leaves are from the tree of a neighbour shouldn't he be the one sweeping the damn things up?

The worst thing about autumn is that it is just that, a change. A filler season where everything changes, and things go from brilliant to shit, all in a manner of weeks. It's winter...but somehow worse, and a season that sometimes feels like it's there, only to annoy.

Circuit City.

As you may have noticed, I have not posted in this darling blog very much recently. You might think that I have tired of the blog, have forgotten it, or have not had anything to write about. You, non-existent reader, are quite incorrect.

The reason for my absence is this: Circuit City is inefficient. My laptop - my wonderful, beautiful friend, my dear laptop - had been going through a rough patch, as they say. Blue screens of death, random beepings and shut-downs, temporary amnesia.. Poor thing.

When a computer is having troubles, you take it to a doctor. Circuit City was its hospital of birth, and they now provided its health-care. (If only children had warranties [/old, bad joke]) SO I took the laptop to the City of Circuit on the third of October. On this day, I was given a piece of paper, a filled out form, upon which was printed, "Promised [return] date: 10-17-08".

Please, look at your calendar. The day is now 11-15-08. We are well past October the 17th. If they had promised the computer for 10-12-08, I may have thought, hm, perhaps they were British in writing the day before the month. However, I have yet to meet a 17th month of year. Maybe there is one somewhere in the universe, but on Earth, there are definitely only 12 months.

As you have undoubtedly, and correctly, assumed, my associates and I have contacted Circuit City about this problem. Numerous times. Have they been helpful? Well.. not especially. They do not fail to agree when it is stated that the situation at hand is ridiculous, but rather than fruitless sympathy, I would love to have my laptop back. And fixed, preferably. Though I have reached a point in which I might just take the laptop back unfixed, with reimbursement for the warranty, what with the bankruptcy of the company. I'm not so sure I want my computer to be tampered with by a desperate sinking ship with limited accessories.

I just want my laptop back. Please. I need it. It is attached to my soul. -Dramatization-

Circuit City, you hinder me. I limp. Damn you.

America

Or so I'm told by our dear Sarah Palin.

And since I hate America so much, I am not entitled to freedom of speech. Or so is implied by America-lovers.

Methinkst this is a bit of a paradox. Let's say I start as an America-lover, but then question a Republican leader- I have become an America-hater, which then strips me of free speech. So if I have no freedom of speech, I do not question the Republican leader, making me an America-lover again, which once more gives me freedom of speech .. to question the Republican leader. (Of course to question a democrat is patriotic!)

Gosh darn it, I love the Constitution so much, I hate America.
Will this idiocy never end? Will I ever be able to peacefully enjoy the pleasures of the Constitution again?

I do love America. But I hate the morons who tell me I don't.