1. Being punk does not mean wearing a certain outfit or acting a certain way. It means to be yourself without caring what the others think! But remember being a punk is not always easy you will be judged by others but don't let that bother you. [Good so far. Perhaps a little self-helpy. The grammar could stand to be cleaned up a bit too, but, hey, it's not English class, it's just a wiki!]
2. Stand up for your cause! Punk is about being a rebel and standing up for what you want. This is not, for example, going up to a bank and stealing all of the money inside; rather, it is standing up for your values. Support something you want to. [I think they should have put the "don't rob a bank" disclaimer at the beginning of this section. I'm sure too many people have read just that first sentence and gone off to totally punk a bank. Check this out:
According to the guide's history, it was created in February of '07. Now, at the time there wasn't a particularly high volume of searches for "bank robbery" on Google, but you'll notice, dear reader, that the overall volume does climb starting around mid-2007. Coincidence? I think not!
The rest of the section tells us that it's definitely punk to do something like donate to a breast cancer foundation or try to save the local YMCA that the Man's trying to take down to replace with a Walgreens/CVS combo, instead of the common wisdom of these activities being just for pansy-asses who don't want their chest hams falling off. So I disagree slightly with the parts that don't have to do with bank robbery, but this isn't about what I think.]
3. Be an individual. Stand out. Wear clothes that no others dare to wear. Stand up for what you believe in, even if the whole world is against you. Be bold, but don't lose touch of yourself. [Even if the whole world is against you, stand up for what you believe-- so most crazed dictators are punk, by that. I'm not gonna say that one name, because Godwin's right over my shoulder with an axe. Also, is it just me, or does it seem like they accidentally copied a bit of someone's horiscope for that last bit?]
4. Dress punk fashion. Vests with pins and badges are also totally punk. Like mentioned, leopard print and plaid are also punk. Purses and messenger bags are great for putting pins and badges on. Don't be afraid to wear what no one else is wearing. [They bolded this to make absolutely sure you noticed it. It is imperative to dress punk, even though "Being punk does not mean wearing a certain outfit or acting a certain way", not to mention "Wear clothes that no others dare to wear." So, if all these punkies are wearing clothes that no one else dares wear, then aren't they all daring to wear it, thus negating the lack of dare and causing some sort of temporal rift? Scary thought. Do also keep in mind that, while leopard print and plaid are most certainly punk, leopard print and plaid together is simply a horrid crime of fashion and you'll both lose your punk license and cause most others to lose their eyesight. Unless, of course, you're wearing the two together because no one else dares to. Then it's okay.]
5. Make your hair punk. You don't have to, but you can get mohawks or liberty spikes. Hair color also counts. Different colors such as red, green, blue, orange, purple or pink also stand out from just getting highlights. [Yeah, you totally don't have to do this! They're just including it as a handy reference in case you actually want to be punk and not just pretend to be, you loser. Apparently, the more mohawks you have, the more punk you are, though the "multiple mohawk" hairstyle is not something I've heard of. And the colors-as-opposed-to-highlights advice is good, but I don't think colors are better because they stand out more. It's mostly because highlights are totally gay, and gay is not punk. (I'd say that gay is junk, but that's just... well, even I won't make that pun.) But, yes, the more like cotton candy your hair looks, the more punk you are.]
6. Ignore any negative outlook towards your clothes, hair or being punk; those who judge you are just not aware of your individualism! [Yeah, get the fuck away from this post, bitches! That statement reminds me of Mormons...
Dude, punk Mormons would be awesome.]
Final comment: this post was motivated mostly by a girl I work with who's all dressed punk (super-tight skinny jeans, straight, roughly shoulder-length black hair, piercings on her lip and eyebrow), but, here's the problem. She was wearing a London Calling shirt. If you're going to dress like that, and try to assert your punkosity, and you have, just have to wear a Clash shirt, please limit it to one that references this album and this album only:
That is the U.K. release of their first, eponymous album, people. If you're wearing a Clash shirt that's not referring to that album, you are not wearing a shirt that has to do with a punk album The Clash were only punk for their first album, and after that they were just punk in spirit.
Also, please don't refer to the Clash as a "pretty obscure" band. People know who the fucking Clash are, and you aren't super-awesome for knowing about them.
That is all.
2 comments:
Wow, that Wiki page sure made the punk movement seem lame. Isn't a "How To Be Punk" manual completely anti-punk?
Ah yes, high school and middle school were full of the faux-punk. Zomgz, safety pins. ZOMGZ THE RAMONES! Ohhh please. The Ramones just think they're punk.
Ugh... I hate the whole "neo-punk" shit, too.
Were you alive in 1977? No? Then you're not a punk, dumbass.
It's generational, Just like New-Wave or grunge. Except punk music is dumber.
The next girl I see wearing a Clash t-shirt at a show, I'll throw a grapefruit at her head for Liam. Srsly. I'll carry one in my messenger bag. (Oops!... hope that doesn't make me punk. No. Wait -- that makes me junk.)
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