Trucks

I hate them. I truly do. There is no part of me that likes the damned things. They're dangerous, they're bulky, and they're loud. God, are they loud.

When I'm in a car, and a truck happens to move next to me, I go into a minor panic mode. Probably orange. It's going to topple over. Dear god, it's going to topple over and I'm going to be crushed. Pointy objects, pointy objects in the car, move them away so as not to be impaled when the truck comes crashing down on me.

Or! If it's in front! The back is going to open. It is, I know it is. And inside, there are all sorts of things. Perhaps a piano. No, perhaps it's full of glass. The door is going to open, and shards of glass are going to break through the window and hit me in the eyes. They're going to slit my throats.

Or! On a hill! I'm on a hill, and the truck is in front of me! It will break down and slide backwards and kill me! Or I'm going downhill and it's behind me and it moves too fast and kills me! Or if a car stops quickly in front of me, and I stop in time, but the truck doesn't and it squashes me and causes a fifty million car pile up!

Then when I am crossing the street, and out of nowhere comes this gigantic truck, and I can't cross the street in time. Smash! Or if I'm on the sidewalk, walking innocently along, and a truck drives beside me, hits a hole, loses its balance, falls and crushes me! And what if I ride my bike? God, imagine getting hit by a truck when you are riding a bike. You have that piece of metal between your legs.. No no no nono.

And now there is annoyance. I live next to a post office. It must be one of the major ones, because all throughout the night.. No no no. Noooo. I can't sleep. I can't sleep anymore. I can't open my windows, I can't sleep. The noise! It's so loud! The crashing! And I have never heard trucks so loud! All night long, no break. Last night, I had to do the whole pillow over ears thing. No, actually I did that at 7 this morning after restless hours of tossing and turning throughout the night. And do you know when the trucks stop? They stop at 9 am. The time I wake up. Or would wake up, if I were allowed to sleep.

This, my friends, is hell.